Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Guests of the 'guest of life'

"A human being does not have any roots. He or she must make a pilgrimage through the human condition. That means Ladies and Gentlemen, that we are all guests of life." - George Steiner

Guests of the guest
Part One

Jan 1, 2007
6 AM
San Francisco, after hours club

The first person i see as i walk in is the Troll Butler. My five foot dred friend born in British Guayana . We point to each other, smile, and laugh. He tells me he is going to DJ a set later that morning. He tells me he is recording music. He tells me he will make it to the islands soon enough, cant take the cold. He reiminds me that he still owes me chocolate muffins from that gig we did together seven years ago. His laughter is filled with snickers and giggles, like that dasterly cartoon character.

The message therapist turned and leaned forward on his knees now, in order to get closer, it was noisy and the question was one which required a depth of closeness.
"last night", he began, "i kept bringing myself back to this practice, throughout the night. I would bring up a memory of the past year, and noticed how i felt then, and then i would compare that to how i feel now about it , and measure what i have learned from these expreiences over the year. The space between where i was and where i am now is the indicator"
"What if you feel the same was about it now as you did then, when that memory comes up?"
"Then i still have some work to do."

I am now talking to the video jockey who lives in NY and is visiting for the weekend. We had been playfully flirting all morning, and now in need a drink but am too tired to go to the bar. I ask him to accompany me. The bar is located right below the steps we are dancing on.
"I dont know, that's a large commitment", he says in response to my request
"I understand, take your time, you dont need to rush into it", i reply
"I dont really believe in commitments, they're create expectation.", he offers
"Commitments dont create expectations, people create expectations.", i retort.
Relenting he says, "OK I'll give it a try, i think i'm up for it."
By this time we are now downstairs and almost to the bar. A woman comes up to him and they exchange hugs and begin a conversation. I glance over in his direction, and keep walking, alone.

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